Out at dinner this weekend, my husband and I were with a good “couple friends” and the conversation turned to breasts. This happens a lot – usually around “boob o’clock,” as my friends say, which is apparently around 11 p.m. or the third glass of wine, whichever comes first.
The reason this topic comes up a lot is, well, first of all – boobs are everywhere, all the time. Women hang them out these days during everything from a business meeting to Saturday shopping with the kids. And trust me, if I had them, I would hang them out, too.
So back to our conversation – I’m not really sure exactly how it came about but we started discussing my deep, not-so-secret desire for a more ample bosom and the conversation turned to plastic surgery. My friends are of the “why not if it makes you happy” line while my husband is “I don’t think it will really make you happy” and “why do you need other men to look at you” school of thought.
We have a lot of back and forths on this subject – often and, while I joke – too much – about getting the surgery, deep down I think my husband is right. I would love – love – love to have some cleavage but in my heart I can’t figure out why. As the male-half of our couple friend said,
“If it makes you happy, do it – I just don’t understand why you need them. You are a successful, smart and good looking woman, who cares about boobs?”
To which I said,
“YOU guys do… all the time, everywhere, you are always talking about them, looking at them (online and off) and obsessing over them.” Case in point – from Twitter today.
But you know what – he’s right – and so is my husband. Deep down I hate myself for not loving myself more the way I am. Who cares about bigger boobs? What do I care that men obsess over them? Why do I have this underlying desire for getting them? Will they enhance my life? Will they make me more confident and happy?
The honest truth is I don’t know. I have a full life – successful career, motherhood, health, family, friends, etc. So why does my chest size matter??
What do you think – do Wicked Smart Women get boob jobs?
12 comments
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December 19, 2007 at 1:01 am
Chad
I don’t think so. I’m fifteen, just so you know where this opinion is coming from.
Sure, they are nice to look at, but really, what I am looking for in a girl is a great personality (fun loving, smart). However, looks do matter. I couldn’t see myself with a girl that isn’t pleasant to look at. Her eyes and hair matter more to me than boobs.
If it would make you happy, go for it. I don’t think it’s necessary. At all.
December 19, 2007 at 2:29 am
yndygo
If you had asked me this 15 years ago, my answer would’ve been unequivocally “No… we don’t!” Because of all of the reasons you outlined above.
But about 6 years ago, one of the smartest, most amazing, wittiest, and most beautiful women I know went from an A cup to a C cup.
You know what? It actually did make her happier. I can’t quite tell you why – the best I’ve ever gotten out of her is “well, finally, my outside body reflected the way the inside me thought I should be.”
Here’s the thing – if you were doing it to attract men other than your husband? Issues. If you were doing it because you thought without them you are somehow ‘less of a woman’? Issues. If you were doing it because it would make you feel happy? Do it.
I’ve come to the conclusion that plastic surgery like this is just the same as wearing makeup, dying our hair, buying high heels, and wearing perfume.
There’s nothing wrong with it if you look in the mirror and go “yes! I look hot today!”
Me? I was a B-C cup before I gained all this weight. I’m now a *gasp* D cup and I hate it.
I’m setting out to lose the weight again, and if my boobs don’t go back down to a perky C (yeah, I had a child and I’m over 40, perky is long gone!) then I’ll get them touched up when I get the “mommy special” (boob lift, tummy tuck) after I’m at my goal weight.
Because I feel like it – not for any other reason.
Strangely, I won’t do a face lift ever – terrified I’d end up looking like one of those botched celebrities… but boobs? Sure!
January 1, 2008 at 8:37 am
what ever
I urge you to go get some NOW!
As a smart woman you will be astonishing if you are complete, which is naturally very rare but in reality every women ( and even man ) tend to be attractive by working hardly on their appearance: haircut,clothes,makeup and why not surgeries!
Unfortunately the appearance is very important nowadays, and believe me this will build in you a great confidence, you will feel yourself a “WOMAN”!
So it is not just for your husband ( despite his refusal he will be very pleased ) but for yourself you will be like a superwomen !
January 4, 2008 at 6:50 pm
WhatsWrongWithNatural
Hmmm . . . how will you feel if your husband is more excited about your body (boobs) when you get them pumped up?
For me, if more people (read: men) started noticing me after I got implants, I think it would bother me more than flatter me. I think I would regard men with less respect if they only notice me after I faked out my breasts.
January 30, 2008 at 2:29 am
Totally Confused
I see photos with women who have lovely breasts and end up with something looking fake… If she likes them, to each her own.
Now… As someone who cannot push anything up even with the most expensive push-up bra and a husband who plays with me anyway and doesn’t care if I am small, I should be kinda OK, but I still have trouble. I love outfits. Cute undies… gee, can’t put anything in the top. Great.
Also, I am a large frame, not barely 5 feet tall and barely 100 lbs. People think I am naturally skinny but I had a massive weight loss. So that means when I bend over my breasts are little tube-like bags with nipples on the ends.
Sure, this doesn’t matter, if I liked how this looks. I don’t.
I can live without them, but I would love to fill out a tailored suit without a big false bra, and I would certainly love to fill a bikini top. Having them feel weird to the touch would be horrible, but the world isn’t going to have a feel… and there’s a very good chance I could end up with what for all intents and purposes are breasts.
Breasts are funny things. Fat and tissue filled sacks. If someone took a lump of skin from an obese person and asked sexy or gross, I have an idea what most would say. Yet, put that lump of fat somewhere else, and ooooh. So go and do something silly like put a fake protrusion where the fat could go, and that’s gross and unnatural? What’s the difference?
February 1, 2008 at 10:34 am
Wicked Smart Women Know When to Call It Quits « Wicked Smart Woman
[...] I told you there’s a boob obsession [...]
June 6, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Katie
This is the question I asked myself as I most recently CANCELLED and lost about 5000$ for the boob job I was going to get.
If you lived on an island, would you feel the need to have bigger breasts? No.
The only reason people take such drastic measures to do these operations are because SOCIETY tells them this is how you need to look. If we didnt have trash magazines and narrow minded beauty stances, no woman would ever feel she isnt good enough the way she is!
Big boobs are in favor. No matter who says what about smaller cups, society is obsessed with bigger boobs. However, if the world were a little different and everyone wanted SMALL boobs, would you still want to get a breast AUGMENTATION? Probably not.
The outer world is influencing way too many people who dont take enough time to soul search and find the REAL reasons to their careless actions. People are WAY too quick to get surgery without taking the philosophical approach.
If we lived in a healthier society that encouraged natural beauty, no one would be off cutting their bodies open, putting their bodies at MANY risks, only for a physical result.
June 26, 2008 at 11:49 am
karlos
I am a 28-year-old male, and my last girlfriend had fake boobs. Not only do I think they look and feel unattractive without any clothes on, I also think they can poison someone’s personality. The fact is, you will probably grow narcissistic and vain about them — even if just a little. And that will be incredibly unattractive from your husband’s perspective. It’s like a short man being proud of his height — when he’s wearing man heels. It’s just ridiculous.
Don’t get them. Especially if your husband doesn’t want you to. Guys can always tell when a woman has fake boobs, and their respect for them immediately plummets.
July 8, 2008 at 9:39 pm
wickedsmartwoman
Karlos, great insight. Thank you. Well said. I think I will focus on improving myself in more natural ways for now.
January 4, 2009 at 4:28 pm
patty loving
For many of you here, the question is why get “bigger breast?” That is not my issue. What about getting the surgery to have firmer, perkier breast? I feel ten years older than my 43 years, because my c cups are about down to my waist. Right now, I am a perfect size 6, i eat and work out like crazy and there are still hundreds of cute tops I can’t wear because of the sag factor. UGH!! I am still too scared of being put under, but I am working up my courage every day. Shallow ? Me? Not at all, just tired of looking like the national geographic poster girl.
January 11, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Lasik Eye Surgery
That’s a smart point…for sure
July 3, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Luis
Because it gives you power!